to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again. 

"The Thing Is" by Ellen Bass

I've been dreaming lots these days- both of the future and in sleep.

Last night I dreamed I was away traveling. I had just arrived and the place was so hot. I felt so heavy, sweaty and dirty- I was in a panic because I couldn't get settled, find a place to put down my bag and take a shower. I was going to meet people but I really didn't want to because all I could think of was getting freshened up. It was so, so humid- Maybe that's why this poem is resonating with me today?

While awake I was feeling kind of down in regards to day to day living- I need to be busy these days. I went for coffee with my brother and we talked about the future. Our crazy, wild dreams. That got my mood back up again. They are so thrilling. I'm excited for this summer. I think I will stay close to home. Oona River, music festivals, friends, family, weddings, the Island and perhaps the prairies? Then perhaps Asia next winter. Perhaps.

There was a beautiful sunset tonight and there was daylight well past 5pm!

Things are well. Settled in and well-

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