Journaling-

I’m sitting on the train to Copenhagen right now- watching the flat and peaceful Dutch landscape roll by. The car is old fashioned, maybe from the 60’s or 70’s. There’s no power outlet so I could pretend I am all dressed up and in the 1920’s or so on a train trip across Europe. I’m picturing Ann of Green Gables style currently.

I just met a cool, young, Norwegian woman named Vera(?) I’m fairly bad with new names. I was talking to her for a long time as we were both looking for a dining car- though as there was not one- we turned around. She studies in Gothenburg, Sweden, is from Oslo and was interested in my story and I hers. Tough there came a point in our conversation I just got really tired, where it took an uncomfortably large amount of energy to continue communicating, so I had to ask her where her cabin was and kill the conversation.

It must be an introvert thing.

I have the whole cabin to myself. Which is nice because if it stays like this I will be able to stretch across the seats and sleep comfortably tonight. Though it would be also nice if there was someone like Vera just to share company with. Ah well. I needed some quiet time. I felt the same overwhelming tiredness while talking with Margon one day. They were both such nice young women, gentle, kind, interesting and caring. Though I just couldn’t muster up the energy to converse. Sometimes all I could say to Margon (before I had my nap at the beach) were one word answers like “cool!”. I think it’s a sign that I’m a bit tired from traveling. Vera had been traveling for 22 days already- like me- visiting friends around Europe. I was so tired when talking to her I couldn’t remember the city I had just came from.

This reminds me of another situation that happened when I was dropped off  from the ride sharing I took to Brussels. The driver dropped me off and as I didn’t have a phone, I needed to wander around for a while to figure out how to contact Olivier. I became flustered as I was warm too. Temperature really plays a roll in how I experience moments these days.

- The train is stopping and I’m scared someone will come ino my cabin- I suppose it’s too good to be true to have it all to myself- but there are six seats in here and it would be so uncomfortable if it was full- I wouldn’t be able to adjust the window myself! Fingers crossed only one, or no person will be booked in my room- I think we’re continuing on. We are!-

Back to before I met Olivier, I wandered around the metro station and looked for a bathroom to freshen up. I found one in a near by grocery store and went in. The room was muggy, I wasn’t supposed to be in it as I wasn’t a customer, and it was a very dirty and run down bathroom. I walked in and was so flustered I could not figure out how to lock the door. Instead of looking at the locks overall I decided it was impossible and stood in front of the door and changed, incase someone came in I could at least hold the door closed. No one came in. Though when I was finished I realized that the lock was in fact, like most public bathroom doors, just under the door handle.


I get flustered.

I just asked the train attendant if anyone else was booked in my room and she said yes, it’s completely booked. Shit. At least I have a window seat where I could rest my feet. I’m going to try and sleep a bit for now. It’s going to be a long night.

-----

It wasn’t that bad- I think the train ride was about 20 hours but it went by fast for me. I’m tired and can tell I need another break like I did when I got to Lyon. I’m glad I haven’t made solid plans with Nina just yet as that gives me the freedom to relax for a little while. I found a McDonalds at the Danish Central Station. Such pretty people here. I’m going for a coffee and a muffin as soon as the line up gets shorter- if it does.

I have a hostel booked for tonight. Online it showed that it was in a more peaceful area, 4kms from the centre of the city. I’m reading a book Vincent gave me. It’s a murder mystery.

I see two nuns standing outside the McDonalds. They’re in their late 70’s or 80’s. Wearing matching pretty blue robes. They look peaceful, just watching people go by. Life choices, so diverse. When I see their head pieces I relate them to being Christian, have devoted their lives to God, and probably haven’t had partners or a family. I know there’s much more depth than that to their choice and lifestyle, if you can call it that. Just interesting.

I’m interested in the fact that I’m reading a book because I never do. In most recent years I just haven’t had the concentration for it.

Right now I’m feeling strange. I’m hovering between calmness and relaxation  to uneasiness and anxiousness. This is exactly how I felt before coming to Europe. I’m sure it’s coming up again as I’m heading out in 6 days! Everything has worked so perfectly and smoothly since day one. The immense fears and intimidations I had before coming no longer apply.

But now I’m moving on to Canada and I’m scared again. Transportation is my biggest fear. It would be so great to rent a vehicle  in Quebec. Then I wouldn't need to rely on people for as much. Here, it’s not bad because most people live in large cities that I visit. In Quebec, my friends are a little more spread apart. In BC it would be wonderful to be able to buy a super cheap but cool and reliable car to drive up the island in. Again, it would just give me more freedom and independence. The question, I suppose, is how much is that freedom and independence worth on a monetary value. Hmmm.

Any input would be appreciated. I get embarrassed asking for travel advice sometimes. Like, wow I should have this figured out by now. But I try and remember, I’m doing it. It might not be the most graceful way all the time, but I’m doing it.

It’s almost 1pm and I haven’t really had anything to eat today but the bits of food the people in my room on the train shared. Again, not always the most graceful traveler… One thing I noticed in New Zealand was that many Danish travelers would carry around large carrots with them and snack on them. I just saw a couple do that- I must find myself some good healthy carrots!

That’s all for now. I’ll go find my hostel, find a park, read, rest, nap, research if there are any nice beaches or lakes around here, contact Nina, contact friends in Quebec >.<, and maybe call home too.

The last few weeks Gary Fejllghart’s (?) song - “An Islander” has been stuck in my head. “... Islanders, right to the bone, how could we wander so far from our home”. I've missed the sea. I was so thankful Margon took me to the North Sea the other day. So thankful. The last few days Nancy Griffith’s song, ‘I don’t wanna talk about love” has been going through my head. I can relate to it as my energy hasn't been the highest these last few days and it’s been hard for me to connect with people. It just takes more energy. It’s a nice song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryT9tUfwewo

Ah well.




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